“…I felt my soul slip past the boundaries of self-sufficiency and stubborn independence I’d erected. I felt her slide down into my feet and legs, helping me feel more grounded and secure. I felt her slip into my arms and hands, encouraging me to reach out to others first rather than waiting for an invitation. And I heard her speaking words of deep truth and unflinching honesty.”
~Excerpt from Embodying Soul, by Keri Mangis (coming October, 2019)
I am writing to you, soul to soul.
Not human to human, or woman to woman, or woman to man. Soul to soul.
Please, stop seeking your soul’s purpose.
I know this is what all the magazines say, and the blogs, but don’t you see how “trying to find your purpose” is holding you back from living you life?
Skeptical, are you?
Fair. Let’s go back, back before you were born, back when you were standing on the precipice of this lifetime, preparing to jump into the River of Forgetting. Back when you were purely soul, and not an ounce ego.
Can you feel again that wholeness? That complete lack of…well, lack?
Do you remember that as you prepared to embark on this human journey, you did not fear getting hurt, getting lost, even staying lost? For as soul, you had nothing to prove, and nothing demanded upon you. Human life is as it should be: a choice, not a calling, not a test to pass, not a job to do.
Those demands for a purposeful life came from human ego, not divine soul.
Soul, remember, you didn’t come here with a thing to accomplish. You didn’t come here to wear a badge, or claim a prize, or earn a title.
Soul, remember, you came for one reason, and one reason only: you came to be, to explore, to live your human stories.
Especially, you came to live the stories you hadn’t yet lived. The ones you read about in the magical book, Astonishing Soul Stories Through the Eons: An Anthology. “Yes,” you said to yourself as soul when you read those stories. These are the kinds of lives I want to live. Lives of adventure, of wonder, of passion. Lives of exploration and courage.
You did not say, I will search and search and search until I find my purpose and then I will stop seeking. You are not here to complete, or to win, or to find.
No, you were too curious for this kind of straight-pathed life. Too adventurous. Too untamed. Too wild.
Egos have purposes. Souls do not. There is no such thing as a soul purpose, just as clearly as there is no such thing as a “sole” purpose.
You are here to explore—to try on human “skins,” (roles) to slip off these skins, to not begrudge these skins once you’ve taken it off. After all, the stories from that skin were so numerous, and could not have been discovered any other way.
You came to feel anger that last time you denied, to give in to love that last time you withheld. You came to see the shame, to talk to the anxiety, to understand the depression.
You came to try the thing, say the thing, explore the thing.
What was it, soul, that you came here to try?
You said, back then before this lifetime, that you would go all out this time, remember? You would not hold back love. You would not deny emotion. You would not harm your body, or disregard your mind. You would not dishonor or discount your own needs or those of others. You would not step back, and remain on the sidelines staying quiet and passive and afraid.
You decided you would live, and feel, and experience, and try! You would not, you promised, become hardened with bitterness or cold with fear, but rather would allow these feelings to move through you like the air you breathe.
And now, here you are, with so many stories lived, and a purpose that still evades.
Ego has told you that unless you found your purpose you must not share the “other” stories – for they were not “real” stories, not the ones that didn’t end happily, or ended prematurely, or ended in failure. So you keep these stories to yourself, because ego has told you that those “other” stories were distractions on your bigger purpose to find a purpose!
Think of it, soul— isn’t that just like ego to say a thing like that?
Don’t let the ego trick you. You’ve collected amazing stories of heartbreak, of disease and healing, of disappointment, confusion, disillusionment, ambition, success and failure. You’ve chosen the stories, and today I ask you, soul, to release the stories.
Release your stories from your body, and let your body heal. Do not hold them in shame or secrecy.
Release your stories from you mind, and let your mind heal. Do not keep them because you haven’t “figured them out yet.” Sneaky ego, there it goes again.
Release your stories, not to make them go away, not in aversion, but to put them to use as servants of the world. Set them free, let them speak, let them be heard, let others learn and grow from your stories as the teaching tool they are.
What is the right way to release your stories? Well, of course, dear soul, only you know the answer to that. You will not find that answer on this blog.
And then, once the stories are released, breathe into the space they left behind. Take up more space within the body. Free the mind from its burdens of shoulds and onlyifs.
And then, lighter, freer, bolder, stronger, wiser, go back out into the world and share yourself completely, which is, dear soul, the only human offering that truly matters. (And then go ahead and tell your ego that yes, that is your soul’s purpose, now discovered. So get out of the way.)