Years ago, I shared with a spiritual teacher that I’m often harder on myself than I am on anyone else. A part of me, I think, took this tendency as a point of pride. She set me straight, and quickly.

She told me that this tendency to be strict and unforgiving with myself while acknowledging that others deserve a break is a form of egoism. She went on to say that, by holding myself to a different set of standards compared to others, I was placing myself on a pedestal.

She also told me that if I don’t practice love and acceptance for myself first, despite all my foibles and missteps, then the love and acceptance I offer others is not completely genuine. Ouch.

As you can imagine, this conversation landed hard. But it also put me on a journey of self-inquiry toward self-love—one that began by asking, “Do I love myself just as I am, unconditionally?”

To get a feel of where you are on the self-love journey, answer the questions below as honestly as possible. Be gentle in your assessment: if you score low, simply know that that means you’re at the beginning of a sweet, sweet journey to a whole new relationship with yourself.